I've been at this college thing for almost three and a half years, and while I thought that high school was truly the lowest point of my existence, I'm beginning to realize that it was a walk in the park. Like, I miss the days when the biggest white lie I told my parents was my made up excuse about being late for fourth period. These days, the white lies are a tad more complex, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I've definitely told a few of these.
"Oh, yeah. I've been eating super healthy"
Said as you're heating up a "Cup O' Noodles" in your dorm-room microwave. Does anyone have any Tobasco sauce? And let's not even mention that love affair with the ice cream machine in the dining hall.
"Sorry, I can't talk! I'm studying!"
*Turns up volume on whatever Netflix series I happen to be bingeing on..*
"I aced my final! No worries!"
I usually run crying to my bedroom due to complete anxiety after I tell this one..
"My grades? Uh..my professor hasn't updated them in awhile.."
This one worked flawlessly for me in high school, and still gets me out of any grade-related conversation.
"Everyone failed that test. Not just me!"
I don't even know if that's a little bit true, but at least it makes me feel slightly better.
"I go to class literally every day. I'm NEVER late"
I mean, those high school habits sure do die hard...
"I really try to just spend money on necessities.."
Said as I'm two carts deep in random sh*t that I found at Target...
"No, I didn't call just to ask for money.."
Help me, I'm poor.
"I'm feeling really motivated about the coming semester.."
No actual motivation to speak of.
"I'm really right on track to graduate"
Telling them that I'm actually a semester behind is really just better for their sanity.