10 Lessons I Learned Before Turning 20

Turning twenty has always been such a daunting concept for me - because it means it is officially time for me to leave behind my teenage years and enter adulthood for good.

Being a teenager has been a bit of a rollercoaster. From both the happy and hard times I have taken away a lot of valuable lessons - here are 10 of the most important ones I will definitely be taking into my adult years:

Never ever tell your family your relationship issues even just for advice.

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They will build up harbored resentment towards your significant other, and when things get better with them they will still work convince you to end the relationship because of those hard times you worked through. They might even try to sabotage your relationship. When family gets involved in your relationship it never ends well.

Don’t stay in friendships where you are being put down more than lifted up.

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Friendships are for support, appreciation, and care. There is really no use in staying in a friendship that harms you more than helps you. At the end of the day, you need to surround yourself with people help you see your own worth instead of leaving you questioning what you have to offer. Your time spent with them will be draining instead of fun, and instead of leaving them more happy you'll feel more down and self-conscious. Who wants that?

Pick carefully what you choose to negatively react to or stress over.

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Not everything deserves a reaction. For example: future outcomes that are not in your control are a waste of time to stress over. Sure this dreaded thing could go terribly wrong, but it could also go very well. So, just thinking about how it could go wrong will drain you and harm you unnecessarily and might actually be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Do not worry so much about whether or not people will judge you.

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Fortunately, but also unfortunately the way people perceive you is fairly out of your control. Everyone has different perspectives, biases, and opinions so they all will hold different judgements or ideas about who you are based on who they are. Don't try to please people so much and do whatever it takes to avoid people judging you because it's a waste of time - it will happen regardless. So who cares?

Never ever stay with anyone in a relationship out of pity or fear of hurting them.

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If you put fear of hurting the person your with above your wellbeing you will never find happiness and you will end up hurting them more in the end by prolonging something you are no longer happy with and leading them on.

Never underestimate the power you have over your own thoughts.

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Your mentality and overall mindset is heavily influenced by your thoughts. You can control your way of looking at things. You can choose to shut down negative thoughts and to emphasize positive and productive thoughts. You get to choose what to focus and fixate on, so choose to think about things that make you happy instead of upset.

If you are not happy with something about yourself - try to change it instead of giving up.

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Often times, you have the power and ability to change something about yourself that you perceive as a flaw. Yes, it can be hard and can take a lot of dedication. But often times, it can be done if you truly set your mind to it.

Never let go of what makes you happy.

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Whether it's a hobby, specific friend who you can laugh with about anything and everything, or a kind of food that you enjoy cooking and eating. Keep it in your life and hold onto it. Never take it for granted or forget about it. When things are hard, you'll need it to lift you up.

Pick something to pride yourself on and bring yourself confidence.

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It is so easy to be insecure and latch onto things we are not happy with and obsess over them. It is harder to appreciate what we have to offer, but if we spent more time doing that it would make us a lot less concerned about the things we aren't happy with. Pick something you are the most proud of and remember it whenever you are feeling worthless or insecure.

Teach others how to treat you.

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When someone you care about treats you poorly, do NOT do what they did to you for revenge or spite. It will harm friendships and relationships and create painful and messy situations for both of you. Instead, communicate to them right off the bat that you are not happy with what they did and how it made you feel. Sometimes people don't understand how certain things they do can potentially affect you. However, once they are aware of the impact on you, if they really care about you, they will work towards never doing that to you again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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