To all die-hard March Madness fans out there who spend all winter watching games, tracking injuries, and looking at statistics... I'm sorry. I'm the worst type of basketball fan: someone who only cares during March and April. Here are ten confessions from someone who participates in March Madness... but just doesn't understand.
1. Even saying I care about March Madness is a bit of a stretch.
I passively support a team. We're talking about, "Oh, Syracuse won today? I didn't know they were playing, but yay!"
2. I am completely open about not understanding the finer points of the game.
I definitely couldn't tell you any team's statistics. Don't talk specificity with me to prove how well-versed you are; I couldn't tell the difference.
3. When you say Sweet Sixteen, I imagine a junior in high school stuffed into a frilly dress, not a bunch of college dudes in baggy shorts.
3. I definitely looked at Obama's pool before making my own.
If he can run a nation, surely he can will Kansas to win. (Turns out, he can run a nation, but Kansas still lost).
4. How I pick teams is almost completely arbitrary.
I commit the Number 1 No- No: I go based on seed. A #3 seed will surely beat a #12 seed... right? (Also turns out, that's not the case). Any seasoned fan will say that seed doesn't matter and to expect upsets, but I'm a traditional gal.
5. If I'm straying away from the seeding, it's all about the name.
Do I have a friend that goes there? Does the school have a good reputation? Lastly, have I ever heard of the school?
6. If all else fails... I pick teams based on their mascot or on the color of their uniforms.
And you know what, it's worked before.
7. I don't actually watch the games.
I'm getting the notifications from the CBS sports app, which I downloaded just for these six weeks, or from a friend, who texts me to inform me that the team I had winning the whole thing just lost. (Thanks a lot, Villanova)
8. I don't have a particular allegiance to any team.
I'm not a fan of basketball; I'm a fan of winning twenty dollars for doing well.
9. My university has not, and will never be, in March Madness.
Therefore, being excited about college basketball is almost mythical to me and all the other schools out there who never see their names on the bracket.
10. Again, don't ask me the time, the date, the channel, the number or name of any specific player, or the score for any of these games.
I'll leave it to the real fans.
While I'm sure that real fans are cringing more and more with every word that I write, I'm actually doing you a favor! My failed bracket can definitely attest to my inexperience.