September is Suicide Awareness Month. And I think that is great. I think that it is important to have awareness months for the less pretty side of life: Suicide, mental health, and addiction. I think it's great. What I don't think is great, though, are the people who just flaunt that they "care" for just one month. It shouldn't be only one month.
Suicide rates have increased in the United States. All sorts of people are supporting those who are battling their inner demons, but only when they can use the experience to make themselves feel better. As someone who has dealt with those types of battles–battles that often make you want to just give up–when I see people I went to school with and people who weren't there for me in my time of need posting about being there for others, it makes me sick to my stomach.
People love to romanticize poor mental health, suicidal tendencies, and self-harm when it isn't beautiful. It is ugly and it is hard and it is something nobody should have to go through. And people who have never had to face their inner demons love to talk about it. They love to say "I understand," "You're strong," "You'll make it through," and "You're OK." They say these things that don't help–they hurt. I'm glad you don't actually understand. I wish I was strong and I hope I can make it through this. No, I am not OK. I'm not even close.
Movies, celebrities, and books all make it seem like you can desire to end your own life but completely change your mind when the right person comes into your life. Wrong. The right person can come into your life, but if you aren't where you need to be–if you aren't happy with yourself–you'll just bring the "right person" down with you. Self-love is so important. Knowing your worth is so important. Don't go looking for love before you can love yourself. Find what makes you happy. Write in a journal, listen to music, read books (that don't make fighting demons look beautiful), or even go running. Find what gives you that spark of joy again and do it. Then, when you finally love yourself again, you can find someone else. Find yourself first.
Every month should be suicide awareness month. Everyone should stop making everything in life seem so beautiful. Life is hard and not everyone is OK–and that's OK.