As of late, the thought of what exactly I am going to do with my life once I graduate college has crossed my mind almost every day. Am I going to make it? Can I actually get a career in my major? They're questions I can't answer, which is what makes them so horrifying.

I'm basically going through a mid-life crisis. A mid-college life crisis if you will.

I remember being 18, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed because the future felt so far away I didn't pay it much mind. So why after just 2 years am I now panicking about it? If I made a mistake I was able to brush it off so easily because I knew I had time to make up for it, or at least I'm still a teenager so I can just blame it on my age.

But I am now realizing there are very real consequences to my actions. Living with my parents and going to school kept me pretty sane because if I needed something, they would take care of it.

I always had a roof over my head and free wifi. Real life didn't seem real because I was safe in my childhood bedroom.

But now I realize living on your own is pretty damn stressful.

On top of having to budget literally everything, I'm afraid it won't even be worth it because what if I never figure out what the hell to do with my life. Every minute of college counts because I've already burned through half of it, I can't afford to not care.

And not just can't afford it rhetorically, I mean FAFSA will only pay for 6 years and after that, I gotta figure something else out.

I don't think I'll be in school long enough to have that happen, but changing my major has really got me stressing out about how many classes I need in order to graduate.

I thought I knew what I wanted to do for so long, but once my gen eds started to thin out and I actually started taking classes in my major, I realize I was gravely mistaken that this is not what I want to do at all.

And that's really scary!

But you know what, that's okay. It's okay because everything's gonna work out. It always does. Even when in the past I thought there was no way things were gonna turn out fine, they always kind of did.

And if things didn't go my way, it wasn't the end of the world. The future is so flexible. All the answers to your problems could come tomorrow, and if they don't, they'll come eventually.

I'm still in the phase of my life where I can make mistakes. Which is okay because with every mistake, comes a lesson to be learned. Anything can be resolved, so there's no point in stressing about a problem that hasn't happened yet.

Plus I figure I've got like 3ish more years of messing up I can do, so might as well have fun now so I don't regret it when I'm older.

But also be a little bit responsible because future you will thank you for it.