I Still Sleep With My Teddy Bear And My Fiance Loves Me For It
Start writing a post
Swoon

I'm The 22-Year-Old Girl Who Still Sleeps With Her Teddy Bear, And My Fiance Loves Me For It

Love is accepting. Love is kind.

173
I'm The 22-Year-Old Girl Who Still Sleeps With Her Teddy Bear, And My Fiance Loves Me For It

Some nights I really struggle with anxiety.

I have a childhood teddy bear that I slept with every night. I took it to college, it got me through breakups, it watched me in high school, it fixed my broken heart, and even kissed my boo-boos when I was a little girl.

I've had that teddy bear for 22 years.

As I got older, I would get embarrassed because I was so close to this stuffed animal. After all, to most people, it was just a stuffed animal. But that's not all it was to me. My teddy bear represented safety, my childhood, the good days, how I got through the bad ones, and my teddy bear brought me peace. It filled my heart with love. It was my teddy bear. I felt better in its presence.

When I was growing up, I was worried. I worried for a long time that when I grew up and got married, that I would have to give up my teddy bear.

I was scared that I would have to outgrow my bear and be forced to put it away. I thought I would have to give up these things that made me, me. Maybe I would look silly to my future husband, sleeping with a bear as an adult. Maybe they would laugh at me and think I'm childish. Maybe they would get mad when I wanted to cuddle, sometimes I wanted to snuggle my teddy bear, too.

Fast forward, and I'm not embarrassed anymore. My fiance tucks me in with my teddy bear.

On the nights when my anxiety overcomes me. On the nights when I fall asleep before him. On the nights when my OCD overwhelms me. On nights when he notices my bear fell on the floor in my sleep. My fiance tucks me in with my teddy bear.

He brings me it when I cry. He brings me it when I laugh. He makes sure that I'm never "alone," even if I said I needed space. He takes care of me. He doesn't laugh at me. He doesn't demean me. He doesn't think I'm a child. He understands that it brings me comfort, and that's OK.

You see, the things I was scared of — scared he'd laugh at me, worried he would think less of me, anxious he would think I'm a stupid kid... that isn't love. Love is not demeaning. It is not laughing at what comforts your partner. It's not judging your partner.

Love is tucking in your future wife with her childhood teddy bear.

Love is accepting all of the quirks and special proclivities your partner has. Love is pushing the grocery cart for them. Love is getting you your charger when you forgot it in the bedroom. It's buying you that candy bar you said you didn't want, but were secretly dying for. Love is washing their hair because you care.

Love is accepting. Love is kind.

I think maybe love has a different meaning for everyone. Some think it's chocolates and flowers. Some think it's not real. Some wonder if love even exists. But now I know what love is. At least for me.

Love is the way I loved my teddy bear. The way it made me feel safe and calm and peaceful... and now I have a partner in life who gives me those same feelings of safety and happiness and peace, too.

Love is simply happiness. It's the joy they bring to your life. It's the way your teddy bear made you feel as a little kid. It's having a person who embodies your definition of love.

When I think of my fiance, it's like I'm giving my old bear a squeeze. I'm filled with light and love and safety and warmth.

I found a love that I never thought existed. We've been together for years, and every time I see him I get butterflies. Hearing his name makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I found a love that sets my soul on fire. I found a love the little girl I used to be would be proud of.

I found him.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

This Simple 7-Step DIY Face Mask Combines Safety — And Sustainability

Instead of studying like I intended on doing today, I made a face mask for some reason and thought I'd share how I did.

11827

If you were looking for a simple way to make a mask, I am happy to share how I personally make them. I have a pretty small face in general, so I prefer having my homemade ones so they fit better. This is also a great alternative to just throwing away any clothes! Before starting, you will need to make sure you have fabric, thread, a needle, and pins; if you have a sewing machine, you obviously could use that instead of hand sewing it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

6 Ways To Handle The Stress Of Earning Your Degree From Your Childhood Bedroom

Oh so this was the room where I snuck cookies upstairs past my bedtime and stole R-Rated movies to watch when my parents were asleep and now I'm expected to earn my degree in this very same room?

5613
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

It's definitely not easy, but it's something so many kids are struggling with right now.

Keep Reading... Show less

November is such an underrated month. With all the excitement that comes with Halloween ending and the holiday season around the corner, some people skip over it and go straight to their Christmas playlist. For me though, November is the perfect time to compile a playlist of songs that bring on major nostalgia which I think is perfect for this time of year. If you're looking for something to get you in that thankful spirit before you head into the Christmas spirit or something to play while you enjoy Friendsgiving, here are some go-to songs to add to your November playlist.

Keep Reading... Show less

Taylor Swift is famous for her Easter eggs on social media that hint at what is coming next for her. Over the past few days, fans noticed a change in Swift's hair when she was accepting her win as Apple's songwriter of the year that was reminiscent of the "Red" era. Of course, this has caused widespread speculation that Swift has begun to re-record her masters.

Keep Reading... Show less

While joyful, the holiday season can also be stressful for many and that's A-O.K. Plus, with the added tension that is 2020, this year's holiday season is a lot, to put it simply.

This is your reminder to put yourself first and listen to what you're yearning for. Deep down, you know what you need to thrive and I know that you can get there.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

25 'Open When' Topics And Ideas For That Special Someone In Your Life

Open When Letters are letters you can give to your special someone.

1460
Lauren McCally

Stuck on what to get the person you love the most?

And, well, let's be honest, is hard to shop for? Well then, why not send them some Open When Letters?

Keep Reading... Show less

My obsession with country music is easily one of my best personality traits.

I've grown up on country music, and it's always been a huge part of my life. I remember the day that my mom bought me my first country CD. Since that day, I've been hooked. I still watch the Country Music Awards faithfully each year. My fun fact for syllabus week is almost always related to my love of country music.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat, Neville, Who Lives In Pennsylvania

Neville is just under two years old and is the snuggliest kitten you will ever met.

796

Neville is a Balinese cat I've had since he was 14 weeks old. He loves being carried around and spoiled. But most importantly, he loves nose boops.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments