From The Friend Who Isn't Taken Seriously

From The Friend Who Isn't Taken Seriously

I won't change for anyone; I'm proud of who I am and how far I've come.


Before I start this article, I just want it to be known that I'm not trying to upset anyone. Everyone deserves to speak their opinion, and therefore I want it to be known that I love each and every one of my friends. This article is not meant to make my current friends feel like I'm writing this article about them because I am not. You guys are wonderful. This is just how I've felt for years, and I'm finally stating what I've been wanting to say.

Ever since I could remember I was the friend who got made fun of and belittled. I've become accustomed to it and often times play along with it. However, every so often it hurts me to think my friends are the ones that are causing me unneeded pain and stress.

I'm not saying I don't absolutely adore my friends because in fact I think the world of every person in my life. I believe everyone has struggles, some bigger than others, and although everyone is suffering with different "levels" of challenges does not mean someone is worse off than another.

Sure, I am not blind to the fact that many people face major problems throughout their lives, but who's to say this has to be a "competition". It's almost like if it does not look like your suffering enough you're being too sensitive, or it isn't a big deal. If it isn't a big problem in the eyes of the people who you know, they will question why it's such a big deal; "You could have it worse", they say.

This past year has been rough I'm not going to lie, and this article is not a cry for attention so please don't take it as such. As someone who has been privileged with a great family, I am forever grateful. As being stereotyped as the privileged friend, I just want it to be known I am allowed to feel down, upset, fearful, or frustrated with anything that occurs in my life.

This article is not meant to be selfish; I am just trying to tell the truth from the girl who has been called sensitive throughout her entire life. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings, and sometimes when your "friends" make fun of you on a daily you get extremely tired of dealing with it.

As I am finishing up my third semester of my college career, I have lost more friends than I can count on both hands. Some I thought would be there for me no matter what, while others being a little bit more obvious. Some completely ghosted me without any explanation, while others gave me a reason that shouldn't ruin a friendship.

When I befriend someone, my goal is never to make them feel uncomfortable or unimportant, although that is all I have been feeling since college has begun. I've jumped from friend group to friend group, in hopes maybe one will accept me for who I am, and love me as much as I cherish everyone within my life.

When I befriend someone, often times I trust too much and too quickly.

When I befriend someone, I want to help them strive to be the best they can be, not laugh as they fail. I'd rather be there for my friends' successes than make fun of every single thing they do wrong.

As a friend, I want nothing in the world than for my friends to be happy, and if not, I want to be there to pick up the pieces and help them get back on their feet. As my friend, I hope you would want the same for me.

I'm not calling anyone out, this is not an article to make people feel bad or upset. I just want people to realize how I feel. Everyone's feelings are valid, and everyone is allowed to be heard.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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To My Long-Distance Best Friend, We Might Be 7,811 Miles Apart, But Our Friendship Only Gets Stronger

It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.


To my best friend,

It has been 270 days since I last met you and 206 more days until I meet you again. People say that time flies by quickly, but these have been the most difficult days that seemed to drag on forever. Five years ago when you were sitting next to me on the first day of our sociology class, I had no idea we would end up being best friends. From sharing my mother's parathas during lunch breaks to the countless sleepovers, I will never forget all the memories we created throughout high school.

I vividly remember the day I told you I would be studying abroad. You were so happy and proud of me for pursuing my dreams but also upset that we wouldn't be seeing each other every now and then. I was worried if our friendship would even last. But we have spent almost two years away from each other and our friendship only seems to get stronger.

I'm so grateful to technology for allowing us to be in touch all the time. My day doesn't feel complete if I do not receive a text from you. I know we do not video call often because of how busy our schedules are (another reason being time zones suck and I cannot do the math), but always know that I am there for you. It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

We have both had some terrible friendship experiences in our past before we met each other that have completely broken our faith in friendships. But know that you can always count on me and that I will never leave your side. Know that I will always set an alarm early in the morning just to video call you. Know that I will always be there for you (even if I'm not physically present around you). Know that you will always be the first person I share everything with.

I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. Thank you for encouraging me to make new friends at college. Thank you for always being there during my failures and reminding me that it's not the end of the world and that more opportunities will come my way. Thank you for being there during my successes and being my number one cheerleader. Thank you for always reminding me to love myself. You not only have a special place in my heart but also have a special place in my family. My mother and sister are not only glad that I have a best friend like you but also adore you so much. It is impossible to imagine a life without you.

I cannot wait for more butter chicken sleepover dates in December!

Lots of love,

Your best friend.

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