Before I start this article, I just want it to be known that I'm not trying to upset anyone. Everyone deserves to speak their opinion, and therefore I want it to be known that I love each and every one of my friends. This article is not meant to make my current friends feel like I'm writing this article about them because I am not. You guys are wonderful. This is just how I've felt for years, and I'm finally stating what I've been wanting to say.
Ever since I could remember I was the friend who got made fun of and belittled. I've become accustomed to it and often times play along with it. However, every so often it hurts me to think my friends are the ones that are causing me unneeded pain and stress.
I'm not saying I don't absolutely adore my friends because in fact I think the world of every person in my life. I believe everyone has struggles, some bigger than others, and although everyone is suffering with different "levels" of challenges does not mean someone is worse off than another.
Sure, I am not blind to the fact that many people face major problems throughout their lives, but who's to say this has to be a "competition". It's almost like if it does not look like your suffering enough you're being too sensitive, or it isn't a big deal. If it isn't a big problem in the eyes of the people who you know, they will question why it's such a big deal; "You could have it worse", they say.
This past year has been rough I'm not going to lie, and this article is not a cry for attention so please don't take it as such. As someone who has been privileged with a great family, I am forever grateful. As being stereotyped as the privileged friend, I just want it to be known I am allowed to feel down, upset, fearful, or frustrated with anything that occurs in my life.
This article is not meant to be selfish; I am just trying to tell the truth from the girl who has been called sensitive throughout her entire life. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings, and sometimes when your "friends" make fun of you on a daily you get extremely tired of dealing with it.
As I am finishing up my third semester of my college career, I have lost more friends than I can count on both hands. Some I thought would be there for me no matter what, while others being a little bit more obvious. Some completely ghosted me without any explanation, while others gave me a reason that shouldn't ruin a friendship.
When I befriend someone, my goal is never to make them feel uncomfortable or unimportant, although that is all I have been feeling since college has begun. I've jumped from friend group to friend group, in hopes maybe one will accept me for who I am, and love me as much as I cherish everyone within my life.
When I befriend someone, often times I trust too much and too quickly.
When I befriend someone, I want to help them strive to be the best they can be, not laugh as they fail. I'd rather be there for my friends' successes than make fun of every single thing they do wrong.
As a friend, I want nothing in the world than for my friends to be happy, and if not, I want to be there to pick up the pieces and help them get back on their feet. As my friend, I hope you would want the same for me.
I'm not calling anyone out, this is not an article to make people feel bad or upset. I just want people to realize how I feel. Everyone's feelings are valid, and everyone is allowed to be heard.