The numbers are in! According to a recent study by the Rehabilitation Center for Basic Girls (RCBC), the number of pumpkin spice lattes a girl orders from Starbucks, per week, is highly associated with an increased amount of basicness. Basicness is essentially a quantifiable metric of the unsophisticatedness of a person. This term is generally used in reference to white, upper-middle class girls in college. One of the scientists from RCBG states, "Our data indicates that many women who buy these sugar-infused coffee drinks, often times buy them regardless of price, or any other monetary concern," adding that the most preferred location to buy these outrageous drinks is the hallmark Starbucks.
Unfortunately for most basic girls, Starbucks has a coffee monopoly and is located conveniently on every few blocks of major college campuses. Starbucks sells its infamous drinks once the fall seasons begin. They are especially popular in climates that experience cooler weather in the fall seasons, as the drink is said to effectively, "warm you right up," as one girl put it. They are so well liked, that many girls tend to overlook the absence of real pumpkins in their spiced latte.
Girls' basic-ness also saw sharp peaks if they referred to their pumpkin spice latte as a PSL and then Instagrammed the beverage shortly after receiving it. Another factor examined in the correlation, was the time it took to finish the drink. Girls who finished the so-called coffee beverage in under five minutes were regarded as the "most basic" within the sample.
The study added novel information, as many people had just assumed that PSL's were indicators of a girls basicness. Now that this study has been published, it is possible to determine exactly how basic a girl is based upon how many PSLs she consumes in a week. Anymore than seven PSLs in a seven-day period is considered to be extremely basic, whereas one PSL a week is considered moderately basic.
The Rehabilitation Center for Basic Girls is also interested in the effects of PSL consumption on men's basicness, however, this study is much harder to conduct, as many men tend to hide their consumption of the beverage. Another added degree of difficulty in the study is the tendency of men to have others buy their drinks for them -- usually the opposite sex. Regardless, the profitability of Starbucks and other lucrative coffee shops hinges on the vulnerability of basic people across the United States, and with basicness on the rise, it seems as though these corporations will have a large customer base for a long time coming.
LifestyleOct 23, 2014
New Study Finds High Correlation With Affinity For Pumpkin Spice Latte and #Basicness
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