After seven incredible weeks of being a camp counselor for 11-year-old girls, I walk away with the most rewarding feeling of making an impact on these kids. I also walk away with a sense of how utterly ridiculous campers can be.

I've compiled a list of highlights of the hilarious and weird things that the campers have said to us and to each other this summer. You can't make this stuff up, folks...

“HELLO! I am single and ready to mingle.” 

“We're the hottest group on camp without a Kardashian.” 

“I'm available, and who are you?”

“I'm not wearing any underwear! I'm thinking of going cantaloupe.” “I think you mean commando.”

“It wants to have its way with you.” (Talking about a mosquito that just bit me)

“I had a staring contest with the light, and now my eyes hurt.” 

“He wants to know if you have a map because he's lost in your eyes...even though you're wearing sunglasses.” 

“Can I call you Dominique Puen Contriguez, and you can call me Jo?” (Said by a girl named Rachel) 

(On one knee) “Will you... give me some nail polish remover?”

“Aim for the toilet. If you miss, you'll land among the floor.” 

“I'm gonna have an even number of kids so they all have a partner for the ski lifts.”

“They're wearing seven pounds of make up. I measured — with a calculator!”

“I fell.” “How?” “I was trying to step on Devin's shadow.”

“Wait, who's Baltimore?”  (After hearing the song "Good Morning, Baltimore") 

“You're like the scrambled eggs here — once you have a bite, nobody wants them anymore.”

“Don't be happy it's your birthday; you're one year closer to dying.” 

“If I had to change my religion, I would change it to Greece, because I like all the Greek Gods.” 

“You know someone could be a lesbian but they don't realize it yet. You can go online to take a test and find out.” 

“Sharks don't have eyes, right?”

“Blind people don't have eyes; they have holes in their head. That's why they wear sunglasses.”

“Minions have nice eyes.” 

“Where is Moscow?” “Russia.” “Do they speak Spanish there?”

“I'm really good at taking pills. It's like my hobby.”

“Do the fish sticks come from our lake?” 

“I hope I shart at the camp party, and then I'll open the first aid kit, and they'll hopefully have a diaper in there!” 

“Can we glue my foot to the wall?”

“I drew a concerned devil — a devil with a conscience.”

“Do we have to wear underwear?”

“I feel sick. Can I throw up on you?”

“My shadow makes me feel tall.”

“Would you be mad at me if I pooped my pants? I poop the most!”

“Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is pretty messed up.”

I hope you enjoyed a little taste of the absurdity and laughter that kids bring to the world. The quotes just keep rolling in, and the things they say never get old.