I didn’t consider myself a feminist for a long time because I thought all feminists were extremists and promoted the superiority over men in order to claim gender equality. I was not fond of the idea that women of color were not equally represented (and still aren’t) in the feminist movement as white women are.
However, once I started to think of myself as a feminist, I became more observant as a woman and I became more enraged by the ways in which I am not equal to white men in society.
I can do everything a man can do, and I can be as hardworking too. I don’t belong in the home more than a man does, and I have the authority to call a man out when he tries to tell me it's my job to pamper him as a housewife. I have respect for myself and I don’t need a man around to make me a fulfilled or complete being.
It seems society is fearful of independent and confident women. The advancement of women in society and the workforce is something unconventional to people, because people like to think of women as made to be mothers and housewives instead of politicians and athletes.
I am independent and I have the right to be treated as such. I deserve to be seen just as powerful as a single, career-driven man is.
That being said, this doesn’t mean I don’t like to be treated like the woman I am. I like to be taken out and I like to have my meals paid for sometimes. And that also means I like to pay for meals sometimes, too. I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and just because I believe in equality of the sexes doesn’t mean a man should not be chivalrous.
Chivalry is not something that is compromised with the advancement of the feminist movement. It shouldn’t be. Just because a woman wants to be treated equally doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be respected and treated kindly as well.
By telling women chivalry is dead because of feminism, people are telling women they are essentially punishing themselves. I don’t understand why being a feminist means men aren’t supposed to treat me like the lady I am. Yes, I can open my own car door, and yes, I can pick up the check, but doing these things for me out of kindness and generosity is not condoning sexism. It is condoning respect.
I think it should be pointed out more that chivalry is not dead in the age of feminism. Now, just because we are at a point in history where we should be empowering women and building them up, doesn’t translate into men becoming blind to the sex of others.
Chivalry isn’t just treating women with respect. It is treating others with respect. So no, chivalry isn’t dead, and it shouldn’t be. We should all be practicing chivalry as men and women, and putting other people before ourselves sometimes.
As Emma Watson said in a Q&A session, feminism and chivalry are not mutually exclusive. They are not fighting each other for the top spot in human society. Feminism is the simple empowerment of women and the progression of the equality of women and men. Chivalry is the general kindness of people to people. These aren’t the same.