Being from Murfreesboro and getting to go to school at UT, I have watched my friends go through many different, but at the same time very similar relationships.

For instance, a lot of my friends have been in the same long-term relationship for the past couple of years. The same patterns occur. At first everything’s fine and going well until they start disagreeing on things or the more common thing I see is someone has an indiscretion like the girl was cheating on him or vice versa.

What I don’t understand is if you “love” someone and you claim they are the only one for you then why cheat? I’ve heard many answers to this one; we are men and sex is all we think about all day everyday, we can’t help it it’s in our genetic make up, I am just tired of the same thing with the same person. Isn't that the point of a relationship, to just be with the same person? My favorite response to the "why cheat?" question is, “why not?” 

Watching on both ends my guy friends and girl friends getting their hearts broken, I think everyone gets comfortable. Some element of comfort is great, but when you start to have these thoughts about cheating or you have more cons then pros, you need to get out of the relationship. With us being in college this is the time to make mistakes, but the fewer the better right? Being an outsider looking in I know there is much more to it, but if I were lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone I loved or even “thought” I loved, I can promise you I would cherish the fact that I had someone who thought so highly of me and wanted to be with me as much as I did them that other guys would be irrelevant. Being on a college campus you see the patterns of where people in relationships make these mistakes.

Try to not put yourself in these positions like not inviting someone of the opposite sex over or out with you drinking if you have any indication they don’t just see you as a friend. Trust me I use to be very naïve and listen to the nonsense or tell myself its okay you can handle said situation if put in it, but that’s easier said then done. With relationships at this stage in our lives we need to stop being comfortable! Do you want to look back at your life and say yeah, I was comfortable with how I looked, the same group of friends and staying in a relationship you knew wasn't right? Some couples I know of are getting engaged or I have friends who clearly do love each other and it’s evident they are meant for each other. But if this isn't the path you see your relationship staying on, then why stay in it?

My question is how have these people found their “soul mates?” What are we all doing wrong? Is it just a constant circle of good girls going after bad guys and good guys going after bad girls that we can’t break?

Some might say I am silly for saying that but it is true. Really I think if people stopped thinking that they were happy and having the “social media” relationship vs. living in the actual relationship and not just making it look like you have the perfect relationship maybe we would all be happier! Basically do what you want at the end of the day but if you realize that you’re happier on Instagram then you are in real life with your partner maybe it's time to think about being single and enjoying your college years and learning more about yourself till you find your “soul mate.”