Ebola, has made its way into the United States of America. This dastardly disease has invaded the much-beloved state of Texas. One cannot be too prepared. Is this a freak act of nature, a devious plan of the government, or an act of God? The answer to this question has not yet presented itself, but we do know one thing -- people are scared. They should be. With the rapid spread of this deadly virus to a total of two people including the “patient zero,” this is shaping up to be the next great pandemic. 

There are several things the street-savvy survivalist should know. If you are a vampire with a profound love for the taste of human blood, you may want to look for alternatives. One of the main ways this virus is spread is through the mishandling of human blood, like the reuse of contaminated needles. This is yet another reason why America is so likely to suffer from an Ebola pandemic. We are world-renowned for the terrible conditions of our hospitals. Not.

If you like to make out with random strangers visiting from foreign countries, you may also want to abstain. The popularity of “hookup apps” will likely also be a huge contributing factor in the spread of this ravenous virus. If you simply cannot refrain from meeting up with random strangers, it would be in your best interest to make sure they are not visiting foreigners or DFW area hospital workers, at least for now.

Ebola cannot be spread by the air or water, if you believe organizations like the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, but with the high mutation rates of viruses, it is only a matter of time. 

My advice to everyone is to invest in solitary fallout shelters. After all, who can we really trust? The only realistic option is to drop out of society in some sort of Rambo-esque fashion and ride out the impending apocalypse.