Two years ago, I wanted to throw up at the thought of joining a sorority.

Buying your friends is pathetic. I didn’t need to spend hundreds of extra dollars on top of tuition and textbooks. I definitely couldn’t afford to carry around Starbucks cups every day or to wear Lilly Pulitzer and Vineyard Vines. I hate wearing pastels anyway.

I wasn’t about to deal with people’s assumptions that my blood alcohol content was probably higher than my GPA. I didn’t want the judgment or rude remarks about whatever combination of Greek letters happened to be mine. Frankly, I wasn’t too keen on being part of a fake community of fake people with fake sisterhoods and brotherhoods. 

Long story short, I just wasn’t a “sorority girl.”

But, like most ladies who have said they aren’t sorority girls, I decided to give recruitment a chance at the last minute. And, like most ladies, I found myself caught up in the thrill of meeting so many new people and envisioning myself in so many different chapters. 

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to that—the time when I knew absolutely nothing about Greek life. For being so cynical about it at the beginning, I managed to keep a pretty open mind throughout the recruitment process. And that’s when I fell for it. Ladies from every chapter insisted ever so passionately that everyone in the Greek community was like a family and that everyone loved each other and it was all rainbows and butterflies. I sincerely wanted to believe it, so I did. 

The beginning of my time in my sorority was great. I loved the close friends I had made, and I loved being a part of something that felt genuine to me. I was proud to be a member of Greek life, because I knew that it was so much more than what I gave it credit for at first. 

And then I heard about Greek Rank. 

For those of you who don’t know, Greek Rank is a website that allows people to anonymously post ratings and comments about different sororities and fraternities at different schools across the country. In theory, it sounds helpful. But when I decided to see it for myself, it was more hurtful and discouraging than anything. Ruthless insults were thrown around about every chapter, including mine. Greek Rank was everything I had hated about Greek life before I joined. 

I was—and still am—appalled at some of the things that people have said. And it’s embarrassing how obsessed people are with determining which chapters are top, middle or bottom tiers. Since when was Greek life all about tearing other chapters down? It’s disheartening to read the negative comments, and sometimes it makes me question whether it’s really worth it to be associated with a community as shameful as the one that shows itself on Greek Rank. 

But then I remember how many genuine, sincere and thoughtful people I’ve met who are in Greek life, and I decide that it most definitely is worth it. I just think that some people—the ones who actually go out of their way to make other chapters look terrible—need to 1) do something meaningful with their lives, 2) realize that once they graduate, literally nobody is going to care what “tier” they think their chapter was, and 3) re-evaluate the reason they’re in Greek life, because those are not the type of people who should be representing it. 

There are amazing people in this Greek community who are making a difference in this world. Don’t ruin it for them. Don’t tear people down just because their letters aren’t yours. Don’t make people feel ashamed for being in the “wrong” sisterhood or brotherhood. 

Don’t be the reason someone wants to throw up at the thought of joining a sorority.