“They say you have changed.”
“Well how so? Like for the better?”
“Ummm, well Anna… I don’t know, they just think you have changed. You know how it is, they see what you have joined, and they just think you have changed. That is all I can say.”
Now to make things clear, I am normally not one to just let something that bothers me, go. That whole “shake it off and move on” mentality - not really my thing, let me tell you. That being said, when the conversation above occurred between my sister and I just a few short days ago over the phone, I could not help but feel this pang of sadness and anger within my gut (or maybe that discomfort was just due to the questionable chicken sandwich I ate in Bursely Hall for lunch earlier that day). Regardless, the words that my sister spoke to me stuck, and to be honest, they hurt.
“They say you have changed.” Naturally, my verbal defenses flared. Well what do they know about me? They are not even here at school with me? Why must they automatically assume that because I join a certain organization I essentially become a different person? Suddenly, the reality of my choice became fatefully clear, and the opinions of those around me hit me like a ton of bricks. That being said, I felt this was the ideal time for me to say a few words on why I chose to go Greek in the first place.
The underlying stereotypes of both my sorority and Greek life in general, combined with the numerous photos which continue to grace the pages of my Instagram and Facebook of me “throwing what I know” and going out with friends, have obviously caught the eyes and ears of those around me, and, unsurprisingly, assumptions have arisen; assumptions that are not true.
Now they tell you college is the time you find yourself, the time you discover who you are and what you are meant to be. Granted, I still have no idea what I actually want to be, but one thing I can tell you is that my choice to join a sorority this past fall was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. However, if someone would have told me a few months ago that I would be joining a sorority my freshman year of college, I would have dubbed them crazy, seeming as to how just a few months ago I was a full-fledged “anti-Greek” myself.
During the happy times of summer just a few months ago, when high school was officially a thing of the past and I was not yet drowning in the workload of higher academia, the last thing I thought about was Greek life. However, when those around me slowly started to ask if I was thinking of joining the Greek community at all, my response was simple, “HA! Greek life? No way!”
I sneered at it, I laughed at it, I scoffed at it. Why call someone outside of your own family a “sister”? And rush? What even is rush? I have heard the word “rush” as an adjective and verb, but since when was it an actual thing? The only picture I had in my head of Greek life was that “typical sorority girl," talking in that “typical sorority girl” tone, taking part in “typical sorority girl” activities. Typical.
That was not me. Everyone who knew me thought that was not me. Yet, somehow, your soccer playing, cross country running, un-fashion knowing (?) Anna decided to rush. I do not know what inclined me to do it, but I at least thought I would give it a chance. Throughout the rush process, I watched as my friends slowly began to drop, claiming Greek life was “not their thing." Of course I would verbally agree with them, saying, “Oh yeah, it is totally not my thing either, but maybe I will stick through rush just a little bit longer to see.”
These words I said to my friends, however, were actually not how I really felt. In truth, I actually loved it. I liked all of it. The rush process, the idea of joining Greek life, the idea of sisterhood, it all grew on me. Even the girls I talked to both in my rush lines and in the actual houses, were not what I previously thought at all. “Wait these girls are actually normal?” - was a thought that frequently passed through my head during those few weeks. When the day came for me to pick up my bid and that little card revealed the three words of Delta Delta Delta, I was ecstatic. While I may have had no idea why I felt this excited over something I once despised, something just felt right. And as cliché as it is, if something feels right, why let it go?
Yet, every part of me still wanted to hate Greek life. Why? Well simply because I knew how those around me did not approve of it and I knew how I would never really have a solid support system to back up my decision. My family did not really approve, and the majority of my high school friends did not really see the benefits to Greek life either. While I do accept these opinions, especially since I, too, just a few months ago held those same opinions about the overall Greek community myself, I just wish I could gain support for my choice. I wish I would not be greeted by the awkwardness to talk about my sorority at home. I wish I did not receive the jokes or judgmental looks from my friends. Yet, I know that these wishes will probably not be granted.
That being said, to those who disapprove, hear me out for a second.
Listen to the words of “changed Anna” if you will. Strip down the stereotypes and all your preconceived notions and just listen. Now I know that no matter how much I may persist that my sorority is nothing like the stereotypes you hear about, you will probably still not believe me. I know that no matter how much I tell you that these 61+ girls around me are some of the most unique, driven and supportive girls I have ever met, you will probably just laugh and turn your head. So I guess if my defending of my sorority falls short, I might as well look back on that phone call, and instead try and defend myself at the least.
With everything being said, yes, maybe I have changed in some ways. Yes, maybe I do post more pictures and go out more than I used to (what college student doesn’t?), but know that is not all of who I am, and know that is not all that has changed about me.
I guess what I want you to know is that I am happy, that I have never been this emotionally confident in my life, and that this insanely large school feels about 100 times smaller now that I am within a community of, dare I say it, “sisters” who I can fall back on for love and support. It is cheesy to say, and I am sure it is just as cheesy to read, but just know that what I am saying is true.
So yes, go ahead and say I have changed, but at least know I have changed for the better.