Despite all the great parts of sorority recruitment, there is a secret horror that goes unacknowledged until it happens; it is a pain worse than getting dumped by your boyfriend or realizing you left for class without your phone. This sadness can only be associated with one thing: losing your recruitment crush. 

As each step of recruitment ensues, fewer girls return to each house. Unfortunately, that means that sometimes the girls you love will not come back the next round. Whether it was her decision or perhaps your house didn’t love her the way you did, it is still painful to find that your recruitment crush is not coming back.  

Here are five steps to getting over that girl who probably already forgot you exist: 

1. Let it out. Tell all your friends how bummed you are that the girl you loved isn’t coming back. Tell your roommate, your hall mates, your parents, a UMich squirrel - really, you can tell anyone that is willing to listen! Except her, of course, because not only is that really creepy but you also can’t break Panhel’s "silence" rule. And remember, she might be feeling the same way as you. It is possible that she loved you the same way you loved her, but the house was still not the right fit for her. 

2. Recognize that your obsession is weird. Even if you recruited the girl every set, you probably did not actually get to know her for longer than an hour at most. While we all have recruitment crushes, you may also want to take a step back and recognize that it is not normal to be so sad about a girl who you knew for such a short time, even if you thought it was love at first sight. 

3. Remember all the other gems you’ve talked to. It is likely that even if you have a favorite girl, you also talked to a number of other girls that were great and maybe you didn’t even give them the proper amount of attention and love because you were too busy obsessing about your recruitment crush. These girls might actually be a better fit for you than your recruitment crush.  

4. Fall in love with someone else. Remember how fast you fell in love with your first recruitment crush? It may have only taken 7 minutes. If your crush leaves you before preference parties, then you still have time. In fact, you have multiple hour-long parties to find the girl that will be your future little sister.  

5. Facebook stalk her. Find out what house she ended up in and feel happy for her. Not only did she end up in the house that she belongs in, but you'll also find the girl who belongs with you and your house. And remember, she talked to so many girls besides you that even if you had a wonderful conversation, you may have blended in with someone else. So maybe you won the “break up” after all.