I’m going to introduce this topic to you with a little anecdote. It’s something that happened to me a week ago; casual enough, but for some reason it stuck with me. Anyway, it was about 11p.m. and I was on the phone walking home by myself.  A group of guys passed me and one of them catcalled to me asking for a high five. I know that’s innocent but I was just minding my own business so I ignored them. As I walked away I heard the same guy that asked for a high five scream “whore!” at me down the street.  I racked my brain for a retort but was so angry that all I could think of was yelling “Hey!” and throwing a nasty look their way.

I understand that this is not the worst-case scenario and this specific situation should not be dwelled upon. However, what I do think is worth giving some thought is the word this man screamed at me, “whore”.  This is one of the four words that are most often used to describe women, the other three being “slut”, “bitch”, and “crazy”. The frequent use of these hurtful words seems to have allowed women to form a sort of callus so that they are no longer surprised when they hear them.  In fact, some of them have become so commonplace that they are used a greeting between female friends.  “Hey slut! You said you’d be here twenty minutes ago, what’s taking you so long?!” or “I’m having a party tonight and all you BITCHES better be there”. These don’t sound like things a girl would say to her best friend, but they are. And girls don’t even flinch because it sounds “normal” to them.

 It’s clear that the overly casual use of these words is perpetuating sexual harassment and violence.  If I’m not offended when my best friend calls me a slut, why should I care when a guy does? I recently read an awesome article about sexual freedoms ( “17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex”  everydayfeminism.com) and one point made in the article is the fact that most women feel that sexual harassment and sexual violence is a part of everyday life and they need to accept it and move on in order to thrive in this world. Personally, I just won’t do that.  I won’t accept the “harmless” catcalls endured on a morning run, I won’t walk away when a boy slaps my butt because I’m wearing a tight skirt, and I won’t encourage women to numb themselves to shameful words when they are spoken by a bestie (or anyone, for that matter).              

Instead what I’ll do is act in a way that I hope can be an example to every woman I know. One way I can do this is being confident enough to know that if someone does call me one of these words, I have the right to tell them they are wrong. I have the duty to tell myself that I am more than this word and that this person forgot a few key words in their description of me. These forgotten words include “clever,” “happy” and “kick-ass”.             

I hope that as a gender, we one day recognize that our strengths are innumerable and our bodies untouchable (except of course, for those lucky enough to have our consent and love).  I hope that we realize that these words can be eradicated as soon as we stop allowing ourselves to be reduced by them.  Please tweet me your stories, thoughts, and criticisms of these four words and this article! @tori_bailey13