Ebola is not spread through casual contact. So unless you plan on swapping blood with someone infected, or kissing a bunch of Dallas people, you should be fine.  

Out of  316,148,990 people in the United States, eight people are being treated/monitored for Ebola. EIGHT. That’s less than a soccer team. Less than a dozen donuts. Less than the amount of beers a frat guy drinks on a Friday night. 

So here’s a list of the things we should be more scared of than Ebola: 

1. Your bank account.
2. Roaches. 
3. No coffee in the morning. 
4. Your snapstory the morning after a night out. 
5. Knowing what’s in the frat punch. 
6. The grade you made on that midterm. 
7. How much your Uber ride will cost. 
8. Getting charged $50 for forgetting to close out at a bar. 
9. Your counselor telling you in May,  “You need one more class to graduate….” 
10. Getting a flat tire in Waco. 
11. Frat house bathrooms. 
12. Calling your boyfriend your ex-boyfriend’s name.
13. Not having queso at a Mexican restaurant. 
14.  The 3-week old leftovers in the fridge. 
15. Tripping in your heels at a job interview. 
16. Getting to Sonic happy hour two minutes after it ends.
17. Wearing a bikini. 
18. Phone dying when you need Google maps. 
19. Losing the “how far can I go before I run out of gas” game with your car. 
20. Seeing your professor on their third margarita. 
21. Forgetting to pluck your eyebrows. 
22. People asking if you’re sick when you just don’t have make-up on. 
23. Someone saying the word “moist.” 
24. Having spinach in your teeth. 
25. Getting hit on by someone 20 years older than you. 
26. Your parents finding out about your tattoo. 
27. Waking up and not knowing where your phone is.
28. Waking up and not knowing where your wallet is.
29. Waking up and not knowing where your keys are.
30. Waking up and not knowing where you are…. 
31. Missing a FRIENDS marathon. 
32. Parking on campus. 
33. The flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz. 
34. Realizing you’re out of clean underwear. 
35. The Freshmen 15. 
36. Getting a “berm” football ticket. 
37. Starbucks discontinuing pumpkin spice lattes. 
38. Getting the wrong theme memo for a party. 
39. Port-a-potties. 
40. Accidentally liking someone’s Instagram post from “59 weeks” ago. 

Maybe I’m naïve; maybe I don’t know anything. Maybe we should just avoid Dallas, Texas and wash our hands occasionally?