Last week was National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.As someone who has dealt with an eating disorder for around seven years now, it is always incredibly important to me that I organize a lot of events for this week every year.I speak to different classes, sidewalk chalk statistics and bombard social media with information. I also take photos every year that celebrate survivors and raise awareness. Since I’ve joined a sorority, organizing events for this past week has been a little easier because I’ve had tremendous help from my sisters. Since freshman year, girls have volunteered to help me to make NEDA week very special. However, my experience this year, my junior year, has been very different. 
I had an idea to do a photo shoot where girls would wear no make up and I would just snap shots of them together, promoting an idea of being happy and comfortable with oneself, defying the outrageous and unattainable beauty standard we see on magazines every day. I wanted pictures of fresh-faced girls who were “real.” When I asked girls to volunteer to do this photo shoot, the response was touching. Dozens of girls offered their time and support to help me with this project. I was so excited.
The day of of the shoot, thing turned out to be different than I expected. I had requested that the girls wear no make up, not to fix their hair and wear a solid black, white or gray t-shirt or tank. Everyone did as I asked and showed up seeming relatively comfortable with themselves despite being “au natural.” As I got ready and planned where I wanted them to go, I heard girls laughing, talking and generally enjoying themselves. When I turned the camera on, something happened. I would be snapping photos and between shots I would hear someone say, “My fat rolls are showing” or “My skin looks so dry.” The degrading comments voiced the insecurities that each girl was being tortured with. Throughout the session, I would hear a girls say things like “I look so gross in this top,” “My hair looks disgusting,” or “My body is nowhere near ready for spring break.” 
I was so disturbed and disheartened that at this photo shoot that is for Eating Disorder Awareness Week, promoting positive image and comfort with self, these girls were wildly insecure or unhappy with so many aspects of themselves. Now, not all of the girls made these comments, but I counted at least four who did. Just one girl talking that way was one too many.
When I went home, I reflected on my day. I thought about how none of the girls were even overweight or had any kind of defect. All of them were beautiful and at the beginning of the shoot, had even seemed confident. I then thought about how in all actuality, none of those girls would even realize they had said those things. They didn’t seem to notice at the time how ironic and sad their comments were. They probably wouldn’t remember later on. My heart began breaking. I was realizing how normal and routine these hateful comments probably are, so routine that we don’t even realize when we do it. 
Over the weekend, I decided to take a look at the photos. After looking at them, I decided to leave them all untouched. All of the girls were beautiful in every picture. I wanted them all to realize it but I couldn’t figure out how. I made the decision to choose one picture and edit out all flaws. I slimmed each girl by about 20lbs, airbrushed away blemishes, giving each a tan, enhanced lips and made eyes larger. I took everything any girl could possibly be insecure about and got rid of it. The result was disturbing. The girls are somewhat unrecognizable, resembling the doll-like figures in magazines that set our unrealistic standards of beauty. When placed next to a photo of the girls untouched, the natural beauty of each girl is so clear. They look happy, healthy and most importantly, they look like themselves. They are unique.
In today’s society, we are so used to seeing 100lbs models that are 5’10 and have DD’s, that we think it is normal. We watch the Victoria’s Secret fashion show or thumb through fashion catalogs and think these women look amazing and healthy, and sometimes they do. What we forget is that that standard is not attainable for most of the population. Few women have the build or features to even resemble a runway model so, expecting ourselves to somehow look that way is incredibly dangerous. Women are forced into extremes because this insane standard of beauty is not naturally an option for people. 
I wanted to show individual and natural beauty by showcasing real girls in their most “real” states. I thought that maybe if we showed more of that, girls can learn to hold themselves to a different standard, a standard that involves being comfortable with yourself and trying to look your best with your body and your features, not someone else’s. My mission changed a little bit by the end of the week. I wanted girls to realize that if they fixed everything they disliked, they wouldn’t be themselves, wouldn’t be healthy and wouldn’t represent the beauty ideal that they would want their own daughters to follow. I also wanted these girls to realize how much better they look this way.
Now, nothing is wrong with make up or having an awesome beach body, but when we hold our selves to the same standards as models, we will never be happy with our appearance and we will go too far to love ourselves. These girls are wonderful sisters for helping me. They are beautiful and they are fabulous. I want them to realize it. I also want girls to realize that your appearance really isn’t everything. Here these girls were, taking time out of their days to help a sister that some of them had never even met, and they neglected giving themselves credit for their good hearts because they were criticizing their images. I wanted to show girls that embody natural beauty and self love. Now I want to show why we shouldn’t feel the need to fix everything about ourselves to look like a model and instead, should love ourselves the way we are. If we waste our lives fixing all of the flaws, it seems to me the result is ugly.