No matter how far in advance I know I'll be going the the frats, the cycle of getting ready is always the same. I spend 45 minutes on my hair, 30 minutes blasting early 2000s R&B, another 20 minutes Facebook creeping to see who else is going out. Then all of a sudden, it’s 10:30 and I have yet to even open my closet...Oops.

Luckily, having to be totally dressed and across campus in fifteen minutes flat has taught me some foolproof fashion strategies. I am the Clark Kent of getting ready, and I’m here to save the day.

Clothing: If you can incorporate bright colors and patterns into your frat attire on a regular basis, I’m very impressed. That’s a risky move. For those of us who don’t have the time to live life on the edge, there’s only one word: black. Just try to mess up an all-black outfit. Black always matches, it hides stains, and you’ll look super sophisticated when you decide to get up and dance on that table. You're basically a modern-day Audrey Hepburn.

To speed up the getting-ready process, dedicate a section of your closet specifically to clothes for nights like these. A couple of skirts, some crop tops and you automatically have a dozen potential outfits right at your fingertips. Throw a kimono into the mix if you’re feeling particularly ambitious. You should also buy a variety of short, tight dresses with miscellaneous cutouts and/or low necklines. These dresses will be appropriate in exactly no other aspect of your life, ever. Regardless, you’ll look like you put some effort into getting ready—even though you probably pulled one on while simultaneously putting on shoes, curling your eyelashes, and trying to find your phone. No one has to know the truth.

Accessorizing: Wearing jewelry is the perfect way to look like you really put some thought into your outfit. Don’t act like you’re not impressed when some girl rolls up to the frats rocking a statement necklace. Are you a freshman? Did you take the NightTran here from your dorm? I could tell, because you’re wearing a lanyard with your keys and ID card hanging from it. Let’s go shopping so I can buy you a real necklace. And a clutch.

Shoes: Whether you do flats or heels is up to your discretion. Personally, I like having the towering vantage point that heels offer—it ensures that your friends will always be able to spot you, and you can easily assert your dominance over the smaller girls fighting over a limited number of cabs if your guy doesn’t pull through in a timely manner. Heels also help if, say, you have a 6’3” rule for guys but are really bad at estimating height. Or so I hear.

So, the next random weeknight that one of your friends calls you, begging you to come out, you officially have no excuses. Drop what you're doing, throw on something black, and go have the time of your life...or at least just look really good for the pictures.