Just a few short weeks ago, the students of the University of Alabama selected Hamilton Bloom to become our next Student Government Association President. After the votes were cast and the tallies were counted, it was clear that the people of The Capstone wanted to “Go Ham for Hamilton.”For most of us, the only thing we really know about our newly elected president is: His name is Hamilton. He has a unique fondness for fashionable socks, and he sports a very voluminous hair style.
But is that enough in order to really know the man who we entrusted to lead our university? Hardly. 

Despite these known facts about our new president, for the majority of us, he remains a complete stranger. So because of this, I decided to have a candid (and completely satirical) sit down interview with our new leader in hopes of learning a thing or two about who the man is behind the seersucker suit and neatly knotted bowtie.

DISCLAIMER: THIS WAS INTENDED TO BE A SARCASTIC INTERVIEW WITH HAMILTON. BOTH MY QUESTIONS AND MOST OF HIS ANSWERS REFLECT THAT SARCASM.

So let’s begin, “20 Questions with SGA President Hamilton Bloom:”

Question 1:

Bringardner: Which bar do you see your newly implemented taxi service picking you up most frequently?

Bloom: Innisfree. Phenomenal finger foods.

Question 2:

Bringardner: Is there going to be a First Lady of Alabama?

Bloom: Only time will tell.

Question 3:

Bringardner: How'd you celebrate the victory after you found out you were elected?

Bloom: A few of my friends and I celebrated together once the votes became official.

Question 4:

Bringardner: Political campaigns can get pretty heated at times. Do you feel like you ran a campaign of integrity?

Bloom: Yes. I’m so glad I could maintain a campaign of high ethics that did not resort to name calling.

Question 5:

Bringardner: Your sock collection is quite impressive. How many pairs of socks do you think you own?

Bloom: I actually never re-wear my socks. They’re usually worn once and immediately replaced with a new pair.

Question 6:

Bringardner: What was the inspiration behind the "Go Ham for Hamilton" slogan?

Bloom: A few SAEs gave me the idea, specifically Bo Starke. Once I heard it for the first time, it just kind of stuck. I think it’s pretty catchy, myself.

Question 7:

Bringardner: Serious question: The Booth or Moes?

Bloom: Silly question. Obviously it would be The Booth.

Question 8:

Bringardner: I’d choose the same myself. Next question, what types of TV shows do you delve into when you get the chance?

Bloom: House of Cards. But that’s not really a television show in my eyes… It’s more of a lifestyle.

Question 9:

Bringardner: What makes you the right choice for SGA President?

Bloom: Have you seen my hair??

Question 10:

Bringardner: Many fellow students on campus have pointed out that you're quite the fan of wearing bow ties. Why is it that you prefer wearing bow ties to regular ties?

Bloom: I’m ashamed to say it, but I don’t even know how to tie a regular tie… I’m only able to tie bow ties. Salim Alameddin and Ted Demont tied my long ties during campaign season, and for that I am grateful.

Question 11:

Bringardner: Give our readers a background of who the real Hamilton Bloom is.

Bloom: Well, at the age of three, I picked my nose before shaking John F. Kennedy Jr.’s hand. The rest is history.

Question 12:

Bringardner: Take us through your thought process on election night. Were you excited, nervous?

Bloom: It was basically a combination of the two feelings. However, I felt relieved once I received the phone call that I had been elected.

Question 13:

Bringardner: I’ve got to ask, what is your favorite thing about being a student at the University of Alabama?

Bloom: My favorite thing about being a student at our fine university is knowing that I’m not a student at Auburn.

Question 14:

Bringardner: Talk to us about some of the biggest goals you would like to get accomplished while in office.

Bloom: I want to complete projects I campaigned on. Specifically, I want to make sure the Diversity Caucus becomes a reality. I want to implement the flat-rate taxi service to keep students who live off campus from drinking and driving. And I’m also excited to implement a “SNAM-Forgiveness” policy for the first minor SNAM students receive at UA.

Question 15:

Bringardner: I’ve heard from the grapevine that you lost in a stunning defeat during an 8^th grade class president run while you were a student at Montgomery Academy. How long did it take you to move on from that punch in the gut?

Bloom: I was in 8th grade. I mostly took to Grand Theft Auto III to relieve stress, but I was over it fairly quickly.

Question 16:

Bringardner: Who is your biggest hero?

Bloom: Hands down my father, Hal Bloom.

Question 17:

Bringardner: Tell us something that no one would know about you.

Bloom: I actually am a regular reader of the Crimson White.

Question 18:

Bringardner: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Bloom: Most likely trying to find a way to get this interview off the record.

Question 19:

Bringardner: If you could only pick one restaurant to go to in Tuscaloosa, where would you go?

Bloom: The SAE house. I’ve got some serious love for Miss Angie’s cooking.

Question 20:

Bringardner: Lastly, what are you most looking forward to now that you've been elected SGA president?

Bloom: I told myself that if I was afforded the opportunity to be elected SGA president, my main goal would be to leave this campus a better place than it was when I enrolled in 2011, and that is what I intend to do.

There you have it folks, our newly elected SGA President, Hamilton Bloom.