We’ve all done it. You’re just casually checking Facebook between sentences on a midterm paper, and then you see one.
A “17 Things Beyonce Did Yesterday That You Need To Know Right Now” kind of article that is so enticing you can’t help but click on it. Before you know it, you’ve read 15 articles about everything from a giant dog named Norman riding a scooter to extremely important grilled cheeses.
So today, instead of giving into procrastination temptation, I offer you 33 ways to avoid the Internet black hole that is BuzzFeed.
1. Adopt a puppy. What? Everyone’s doing it nowadays anyway. Plus IT’S A PUPPY.
2. Make gumbo. In the spirit of Mardi Gras, duh. Plus it takes a few hours, so that means your hands will be occupied and oniony and not on a computer keyboard for hours too.
3. Go on a walk. Exercise is good. More importantly: Spring Break is soon.
4. Call your mom. She misses you and let’s face it, if you’re a guy, chances are you haven’t called her in two or three weeks.
5. Learn how to change a tire. Now, next time you get a flat tire, you won’t frantically call your parents and every male in your phone!
6. Find your doppleganger. If you’ve never heard “Has anyone ever told you that you’re ______’s twin?”, you’re doing the 21st century wrong.
7. Surf. Disclaimer: Must be near a tropical destination. Also Beyonce probably will not be your instructor. Sorry, “Drunk In Love” fans.
8. Plant a succulent garden. Think of the Instagrams, people.
9. Turn your living room into a fort. When’s the last time you did this? Third grade? Think how much higher you can reach those sheets now.
10. Salsa dance. Again, exercise is good, and dancing is fun. And you can probably impress someone by saying you know how to salsa.
11. Watch every episode of “Scandal.” If Olivia Pope is not already your spirit animal, I feel bad for you. Also, two words: President. Fitz.
12. Back up your iPhone. It’s all fun and games until you drop your phone in your drink and every embarrassing selfie of your best friend is LOST FOREVER.
13. Design your dream house on Pinterest. I’m not living in it unless I can bounce from my ground-level trampoline into my infinity pool overlooking my private Mexican beach.
14. Take a cooking class. Because impressing a future spouse requires more than Ramen noodles and DiGiorno pizzas.
15. Build a tabletop terrarium. Congratulations, you have now found the missing piece to your bland coffee table! Plus, more succulents.
16. Go to the zoo. Another thing you probably haven’t done since third grade.
17. Learn to play the ukulele. Again, your hands are occupied, therefore not on the keyboard. You also probably know zero people who know how to do this, so you can finally be first at something if you’re not the over-achiever type.
18. Re-learn how to write cursive. Like fonts, but in real life.
19. Play Monopoly. LOL, have fun trying to become an imaginary real estate tycoon for four hours of your life.
20. Get a tattoo. Ok, yes, this one is a little extreme. But everyone’s thought of doing it at least once, so why not let today be the day you go through with it? Just please for the sake of your 50-year-old self, avoid tramp stamps and Chinese symbols. NO RAGRETS right??
21. Watch & laugh at We Are the Millers. If you didn’t get the “No Ragrets” reference above, this should move up to #1 on your list. If you did, five gold stars for you.
22. Download Spotify and listen to ALL THE SONGS. I really don’t understand how people survive on a daily basis without this service. The days of “Oh I don’t have that song on my iPod” are over. But so are iPods, really.
23. Do your homework. Yes! Dean’s List! Wait. Probably not. But it’s the thought that counts, right?
24. Road trip somewhere. Near, far, around the corner, wherever. Go across the country or across the county line; it’s up to you. If you’ve always wanted to see what cornfields in Kansas looks like, go for it! If you’re feeling the need for warmer weather, head down to Florida. Or California if you’re going to be extra adventurous.
25. Make the perfect pair of thrift store cut-off shorts. It literally takes at least five pairs of 90s mom jeans before you finally get the perfect cut and no weird front pooch of fabric. But once you get it right, you will feel like you can start a fashion line at Urban Outfitters.
26. Make Rotel dip. Live every day like it’s Super Bowl Sunday and you will never lose.
27. Volunteer. For the philanthropic at heart, there is always work to be done somewhere. Whether it’s Habitat for Humanity or serving meals at your local soup kitchen, someone else always needs something more than you need to know which Mean Girlscharacter you are.
28. Go to a concert. Live music, being social with friends, a few drinks- Yes! New tagged Facebook pictures!
29. Play a pickup game of football. Or kickball, softball or volleyball. Whatever floats your boat.
30. Go see the Vulcan in Birmingham. Not far from Tuscaloosa, and something a lot of Alabamians have surprisingly never done.
31. Try not to get overwhelmed in IKEA. Deep breaths, deep breaths, DEEP BREATHS. Let’s just take this one floor at a time.
32. Clean out your closet. Still holding onto that never-worn sweater you bought 2 years ago on sale because OMG IT WAS ONLY $10 AT GAP?!?! Time to let it go and make room for something you’ll actually wear.
33. Bake yourself a giant chocolate cake. Because when all else fails, chocolate will still be there for you.