2014 Spring Break Survival Guide
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Politics and Activism

2014 Spring Break Survival Guide

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While deciding how to encourage everyone to live up to the Spring Break hype, I did a little brainstorming and came up with my very own Survival Guide for Spring Break 2014.Thanks to various anonymous tipsters, I have gathered a series of unfortunate events that I hope you take into consideration when trying to outlast this spring break. “Let’s start drinking when we wake up tomorrow!!! Ya bro sounds Frat!”
Let’s not start drinking when you wake up tomorrow. Let’s not get evicted and become the most hated person in your pledge class. Nobody wants to be “That Guy,” and no one likes “That Guy.” Shape up this spring break and come out strong every day by lasting the whole day. 

“My fraternity/sorority is better than yours!”
Yeah, you go ahead and wave that flag on the beach. You’ll be feeling real “frat” when you’re face down in the sand, dead broke, and your daddy's not there to bail you out of jail on a Public Intoxication charge. Be responsible for each other. Make friends. 

“I quit drinking hours ago, I’m better at driving buzzed anyway.”
Cops loveee Spring Break. It’s the end of the month and they’re trying to meet their quota. They’re just waiting for any reason to pull you over, especially if you’ve been drinking. Don’t drink and drive. DUIs aren’t cool. 

“I lost everything at the beach, it was the best spring break ever!” 
No it wasn’t. You lost everything. Once again, no one likes “That Guy,” especially if he doesn't remember anything. You’re telling me you paid $500 for a week of zero recollection and late fees that you put on yourself? Do yourself a favor and go ahead and spend the rest on your ticket home to work at your local McDonalds. Hey, you can’t go wrong with free McGriddles in the morning. 

“That chick's so out of it, think she’d come party with us?”
Registered sex offenders haven’t ever really been a trend in today’s society. Don’t get yourself in that situation. Girls on spring break have been said to consume up to 10 drinks a day. Be coherent enough to get her to safety. Tip: Girls like their “knight in shining armor,” not a regretful DAB hook up. 

“It’s Spring Break, who cares?!” 
Ladies, Girls Gone Wild comes back to bite you. Spring Break pics float around every year. Don’t let this be your year of having to transfer and crying to mommy and daddy that you made one little mistake. 

“Ew did you see what ______ was doing on Spring Break?” 
Don’t judge! We’re all just trying to have a good time here. And besides, either you have done it, or will probably embarrass yourself a little on this blessed holiday known as Spring Break. Don’t screw it up for yourself. Laugh it off, and most of all, have fun with your friends. A couple years from now you’ll be “Adults” and won’t get to have the luxury of doing the dizzy bat until the break of dawn. 

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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